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Tuesday 17 November 2015

HAPPY MARRIAGE

Two Keys to a Happy Marriage


Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.
It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.
To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!
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Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you to pray the following:
"Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you, Lord Jesus, to forgive the past self-centeredness, and come into our lives and relationship.  Direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put You and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to You. Amen."

Thursday 5 November 2015

Facets of God's Love

Hebrews 12
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.[a] Because of the joy[b] awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.
5 And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,

“My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and don’t give up when he corrects you.
6
For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”
7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? 8 If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. 9 Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?
10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

Not all hardship in life is directly due to God’s discipline. But every hardship He allows or causes has the goal of conforming us to Christ (Romans 8:28-29).
"There is a certain kind of maturity that can be attained only through the discipline of suffering."
D. A. Carson

Sunday 1 November 2015

Being the right person

You have to be the right person and both of you have to be committed to make it work against all odds.

"The idea that there is one special person for me ruins a lot of marriages. A person falls head over heals with someone, gets married, and are happy for a while. But then something goes wrong, as it is almost bound to do, and there is a big fight. The next thing you know the person is wondering, "Did I make a mistake? Maybe I married the wrong person." He starts to look around and there is another person whom he likes really well -- and he doesn't fight with her! But that is because they aren't living together yet and haven't spent a lot of time together. So he divorces his first wife to marry another. Everything is blissful for a while, but eventually it happens again. And again. And again."

"And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and crying; so He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, "For it covers one's garment with violence," says the LORD of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously"" (Malachi 2:13-16).

You have the privilege of picking the one with whom you wish to make a lifetime covenant. The field is wide with potential partners. So pick someone who shares things in common with you so that you can share life with her/him. But most importantly, find someone who is as dedicated as you are to making this relationship work, in good times and in bad times. If you are interested in someone, but she/he isn't putting much effort into keeping the relationship going, then you don't have someone worth marrying. If she isn't that interested now, what will she be like after marriage?

NB:
1.  Avoid the plague of sin, marriage was not complicated in Eden until Adam and Eve sinned. Take any sin seriously and repent(turn away from it) rather than indulging in it secretly or otherwise
2. And Colossians 3: 16 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

3. Avoid the consumer mentality of shopping and or hoping from person to person like supermarkets having the best offer looking for what "benefits me", but rather give of what Jesus Christ has given to you.

4. Make it work: Apostle James said, "we all stumble in many ways",  the redeemed can be helped by the Holy Spirit as they live out the Holy Covenant to God's glory

5. Work at showing the non believing world the mystery of Jesus' relationship with the church-his bride. Ephesians 5

6. Aim at hearing 'well done good and faithful servant" when we stand before God soon.

Do you get along with your siblings? Or how about your mom and dad? Do you love them? Or at least like them? But did you get to pick them? No? So how is it that you are able to get along with people you never got to choose for a partner? The fact is that you make it work.

And when the butterflies-Euphoria is gone after one year, do you have an authentic committed relationship with Jesus to take you through the life time? Character trumps chemistry. Not just in the public but even when alone with the audience of only God which is the most important.

"What we have come to believe to be right romantic "chemistry" is actually nothing more than "self-centered" love. Most people are romantically drawn to those who gratify them, so marry with expectations of being fulfilled by their mate. That type of love is not true selfless love, but is self-centered, basing its attraction on personal gratification. It says, "I love you for what you do for me. I am drawn to you for how you make me feel. I know I am in love with you, because I need you so much."  Needing someone is not evidence of a selfless, giving love for them -- contrarily, it is evidence that you want them for the emotional fulfillment you will receive from them."
http://www.familyministries.com/marriage_purpose.htm

Calling - Every one is called and can serve God any where, are your spiritual gifts  complementary and will you as a couple serve God better than individually to fulfil the God's purposes?

Career- Debatable!!- Is there a mutual agreement on what this means for the two of you and the implications thereof? 

Proverbs 9: 9Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser, Teach a righteous man and he will increase his learning. 10The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.


 

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